Today is another topic that is going to point out a way in which society tries to bring women down. Materialism. The word seems kind of intimidating, even daunting. I think that rarely when girls go to the mall they fear of being materialized. Heck, i worked in a mall for about two years and didn’t think i was becoming materialized, oh was I wrong.
I have come to believe that materialism is an addiction just like anything else. Just as guys fantasize over their dream “toy” (car, motorcycle, etc) I believe that girls fantasize twice as much over things, and when true materialization forms, they will feel compelled to buy whatever it is. Not every girl gets to this point. Many girls stay at the first of the three stages of materialism. I was unfortunate enough to have ventured into the last stage… And it has been a long way back.
First stage: Looking- In the first stage of materialism, we just like to look. Many of my peers are in this stage because they do not have the jobs or financial responsibility to spend a ton of money. In this stage, we like to window shop, thrift shop, and look at online stores. Don’t get me wrong, shopping is not bad. It’s all about where your heart is and where your priorities lie. This stage is seemingly innocent because the women in this stage aren’t fully connected with the items they see. They see them at a distance because they have no intention of buying them. Even so, this stage leads to all the rest. So be careful.
Second Stage: Wanting- This stage is the most uncomfortable for a girl. In this stage, the girl looks but also craves. She see’s not only the things she wants from stores and online websites, but she also compares what she has to other girls. She see’s a girl in the mall and wonders why she can’t have such a perfectly put together outfit and then fantasizes about how she can get one. In this stage, little indulgences are made here and there but for the most part, its all in the mind. This stage is a slippery slope because it can so easily turn into the next. In this stage, our priorities shift and we feel that material possessions start to consume our mind.
Third Stage: Needing- This is by far the most detrimental stage. In this stage, wants turn into needs, things turn into idols, and looking turns into buying. I was once in this stage and let me just say, it sucked. Its a complete emotional high. When you buy something, you feel invigorated, happy, and you put yourself on an unrealistic pedestal. When you want something, you feel restless, weary, and anxious until you get it. You do things that are out of character so that you can feed your addiction. In my case, I spent my entire paychecks. In more dramatic cases, I’ve seen girls get numerous credit cards and even shoplift. Once at this stage, insecurities flood the girl’s mind and she feels overwhelmed and out of control. In most cases, the only thing that stops this terrible cycle is by removing yourself from the situation cold turkey. I had to quit my well-paying job, stay away from malls completely for over 2 months, and not look at any fashion blog or online store.
Like any addiction, it is a process. By changing my priorities and focus back to God, i was able to fight the battle with myself and with the world. I am now able to go into malls, shop with friends, and even splurge once in awhile; but, I must always stay cautious. Sometimes I can feel the emotions come back and I must quickly focus on whats true, noble, right, and pure. (Phil 4:8)
As a woman, we want to look nice. We want to look put together and we like compliments. And that’s OKAY. Even so, as a woman we must protect our minds and hearts so that our focus is not of the things of this world, but of the things that are so much greater!!!!!
Whatever your story, whatever stage you are in, I’d love to hear about it and help you through it. I am always praying for my readers and would love to offer advice and support. You can always contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” – 1 Peter 3:3-4
Founder of formyfuturemr.com
For My Future Mr is a safe place for women, a place to encourage them and make them feel empowered. I don’t believe, though, in sugar coating. I believe that part of overcoming struggles and insecurities is being aware of ones adversary. Through this, i hope to put no one down but to bring awareness to an issue that is rarely ever talked about.
It’s intense. I know. And i’ve barely scratched the surface. This is only for the teens. These statistics bring tears to my eyes and heaviness to my heart. As women, ever having been involved with pornography or not, this is not good news. It makes me sad that many of you reading this will have never known about these statistics or have even thought about an issue like this until now. This is a huge bondage that sin has over our society, yet, it seems like there’s no one talking about it.
I don’t need to go into how this affects a women’s brain or how this makes them feel. Ladies, I hope that we are all on the same page that these issues make us feel insecure. No girl wants to know that their boyfriend or husband can look at these things on a moments notice. No mom wants to know that child pornography is a booming business these days. BUT, we cannot stay ignorant any longer.
I learned very early on that I cannot change all of the injustice in this world. I cannot change the ways in which the society has hurt me. I cannot change my past. I know, though, that I do have control over myself. This post isn’t to scare women, but to empower them. WE have the power to defy statistics and bring awareness to an issue that is constantly eating at relationships, marriages, and the hearts of so many people.
For My Future Mr, I will become aware, so that I can stand up against all odds to be the women that I am made to be.
For My Future Mr, I will protect my heart and eyes from the things that the world uses to materialize relationships and people.
For My Future Mr, I will protect the men in my life by acting with grace, integrity, and modesty.
If you believe in one of the pledges listed above, I challenge you. I challenge you to go completely out of your comfort zone to share this post. Share it on Facebook (yes, Facebook). Share it on Twitter. Share it on YouTube. Share it on Tumblr, Pinterest. Heck, print it out and tape it to a tree! The only way we can begin to address an issue like this is to bring awareness.
As women, we have the power to alter the ways in which society views us. As women, our actions and the way we portray ourselves defines these stereotypes. LETS CHANGE THEM.
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” -Proverbs 31:29-30
Founder of formyfuturemr.com